Hed-Wigging Out

My mind is full of Hedwig today and I'm not quite certain why. I suppose its better full of Hedwig than full of, say, a thousand heads being decapitated all at the same time. No, just one head. I suppose that's a bit harsh of me to say, though. What can I say? It's nine thirty in the a.m. I'm just barely glossy-eyed and rat-tailed.

Have you ever been so incredibly lazy that instead of edging your fingers up to the numbers line or across to the numbers pad you'd much rather type the numbers out? See example above.

But about Hedwig. There's a song, I think it's called "Exquisite Corpse," where there is a verse that Yitzhak sings that goes "Tornado body with a hand grenade head and legs are two lovers intertwined" (forgive the errors for my brain might have fragmented my memory on that one) and I can't help thinking what a fantasticly horrible picture that is. I'm just picturing this person with its head exploding bleeding from this twisted wrecked body not even able to run away because its so tied up in getting back together that it falls flat on its headless, warped torso of a body. It's gruesome but, somehow, relatable.

I've never been in muskrat love. I've infatuated, don't get me wrong. I think everyone has infatuated at some point about someone or even something. Who knows, girls could be falling in infatuation with their vibrators everytime they come home from a hard day's work from dodging grabs and comments from their chauvenistic boss or lesbian secretary.

But we're not talking about my fantasies, we're talking about me not ever feeling that draw to be in full, idiotic, lose control of, mind-numbing, blind, spiteful, wonderful, painful, love. And I've never been there. I think I was almost there once. But she had a girlfriend. A tall redheaded fantastic girlfriend who I could have easily been attracted to myself. A sweet girl who I couldn't be sour to for anything.

So there you have it. I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with her anyhow. Though I can't think of a viable reason right now why not.

It all comes back to ego, though. It has to. That's the only thing anyone really knows about, themselves. And if they don't know that, I sincerely doubt that they would ever be in a successful relationship lasting a span of lifetimes. It makes sense to me that more divorces happen each year because U.S. society creates a thick barrier between knowing who we are and knowing who we should be at any point in time.

Not that I'm for anarchy, because I'm not. I'm sure many people are and that's fine with me if they are just don't invite me to your world, I don't want to go. Nice place to visit but wouldn't want to get shot there. Structure has to exist because without structure there'd be no civilization. But, then again, who says we need civilization to survive? Oh, yes, every species of animals that have some sort of their own civilization. Lions have a pride. They're not dead. Wolves have a pack, last I saw they weren't on the endangered species list either. Actually, they might be...anyway!

Granted, we aren't animals. Well, we are but *wink wink, nudge nudge* we're "not." We are the mighty human beings! We have sophisticated levels of groups that don't strike out needlessly against other groups despite protest from half the population to the contrary of the situation for simple governmental economical gain! Do we! Do we? Oh, for Cod's sakes, everyone knows I'm not a political girl. The most I can do is hint at my disdain. Besides, it's 9:42a.m. and I've already babbled to my invisible audience enough.

Go have a poptart, someone.

currently: drowsy

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