don't overthink it.

This morning I woke up in my recliner in the living room.

I went to the bathroom after watching a cartoon. I took a cleansing pad and ran it over my nose, cheeks, chin, and forehead. I pushed my hair over to the side and clipped it with a green barette. I gathered up free samples of makeup that my mom recieved in the mail and went back to my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I put lipgloss on my eyelids before realizing it was lipgloss. I then put it on my lips. I put "translucent" powder on. It was a pale peach despite its claims to the contrary. My inside commentary was unimpressed by the show. Mediocre performance lacking substance. I brushed my teeth.

I went to work. Nothing seemed particularly special. It was one of those days where red looked just as impressive as gray. It was one of those days that you realise just how mundane the overall atmosphere of life is: how repetitive, how predictable, how judgemental, and how boring.

I'm a fangirl by trade. I'm "obsessed with obsessions."-J.Zuniga I never keep one for too long before it drops by the wayside. I have trouble paying attention and I have trouble keeping interest. My inspirational sparks come with a complementary pan. Not even a pan that you pay for legitimately with your purchase but a prepurchase enticement like one of those really small free knives that the kiosks will give you in the mall to convince your to buy the whole collection.

But while I'm sailing that spark of obsession or inspiration I'm true to it. I lap it up like a starved puppy. If I kept the obsession long enough I'd build enough steam to paint shirts and signs in celebration of it. But it never gets to that level. I might do a paper drawing or two, but never beyond.

The road block is, when planning something extrodinary, is that I overthink things. I live in the future of the event. I get myself worn out and bored with it before I've even laid the first stone. I predict how things will rise and fall and ultimately decide it's better to have not tried and not failed than to run the risk of catastrophe. I not only look before I leap but I imagine that I've already lept and broken a leg. I can literally talk myself out of anything.

I'm planning something. I was exchanging messages with Sxip Shirey just a few moments ago (how odd that is to say...I feel a bit fangirly for it). He has this amazing video on youtube right now:
Sxip Shirey playing bowls with red marbles.

I replied to his video with a few haikus. I know that youtube doesn't allow ample space in which to build a large poem and I do like the simplicity and hidden complexity of a haiku.

He responded to me saying "The best response to art is more art."

In my haphazardly bumbly way I responded with an idea that there needs to be an exhibit where in a piece of art is put on show and throughout the term of the exhibit other artists put their own art up as a response to the initial art.

In response I got something to the effect of "go ahead and do it," as if giving me permission to express myself. It's much different saying it like that than saying "Do it!" because it's a suggestion, an allowance as apposed to a direct order. I'm very adverse to order. I don't take it very well. Unless I'm completely clueless or I have no passion in my profession I usually will not take order in my everyday life.

I told myself, I think I'll do this, then. We volleyed a few comments back and forth. I bounced a few ideas off of Sxip Shirey. Notice how I use his full name? That's the fangirl in me. It's flabbergast worthy to say I chit-chatted with someone who I admire. It'll pass. But, for now it's perpetuated by the fact that I keep on repeatidly getting inspired by this man. I try and remind myself he's just another schmuck like everyone else. It's not quite sticking yet, I'm afraid. I fear our meeting again. I might explode out of my eyeballs at this point.

At any rate, all fangiggling aside, the last message he left me carried very important words "don't overthink it." I do that. A lot. As I've mentioned before (I'm hardly redundant...).

The conclusion to this (it's here somewhere) is that if there are any artists who would like to participate in this planned gallery (of a sorts) please feel free to contact me via this entry. Whatever comment you put here will be sent directly to my email. It helps a great deal if you're from K-town, TN. If not and you feel incredibly inspired despite it, we'll figure something out.

This is my spark. I've no clue how it's going to turn out and I'm trying my darndest to keep it that way.

currently: A bit gassy, actually.

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