All Mourn the Death of the Inflatable, Plastic Palm Tree!

Coming up the walkway to the building I saw the oddest sight. In the courtyard there was an overturned inflatable, plastic palm tree. You know, like one of those you buy at Party City in the "Luau" aisle aside the grass skirts, leis, and fake coconut bras; right above the ukulele that you can't play because the strings are just big, plastic, stupid-heads. Not that I have anything against fake ukuleles.

But to continue with my vision:
It wasn't only the fact that in the smack dab middle of the courtyard rested a dying inflatable plastic palm tree but the fact that around the perimiter of the grassy island was yellow streamers tied to various posts and table legs along the way so that from a distance it looked like it was yellow caution tape--a murder!

People were wandering around as if it didn't matter to them but--oh no! I knew what had taken place! It's one thing to hate the idiotic summer luau theme, with its tiki torches and harry cross-dressing men in tangled wigs, plastic adorned leis, grass skirts, and genuine coconut bras hulaing to corny music only The Ultimate Luau CD 1983's greatest hits can offer, but to murder in rage a defenseless inflatable plastic palm tree is going beyond hatred to insanity. What has this novelty decoration ever done to you except exist in its design as a cheesy, yet mildly retro, corner lerker sometimes adorned with clearanced christmas lights and always equiped with complementry inflatable repair kit?

Now, no suspects so far in this case but rest assured I'll keep updated accounts of any suspicious activity. I might not let this one slide so easily. I have an uncle that's inflatable.

currently: quirky

current piece of writing: "and miles to go before I sleep"