L is for the way you look at me...

I don't know why it's so hard for me to understand the deep and neverending connection of love. A person would sacrifice life for another. How is that possible? And why am I so moved by it? I just saw the most cheesiest thing on myspace about love. It was a video showing a woman who meets a photographer. They fall madly and deeply and irrevocably in love.

And then tragedy occurs. The girl, while going into her love's dark room at the pictures she reaches up and there lies an opened bottle of photo chemical and falls straight into her gorgeous brown eyes. The boy goes through trauma while the girl is in recovery and finally the boy leaves for some reason unknown to the viewer.

Until we see the girl's eyes unwrapped. I think it's to infer that she's had an eye transplant. You know, they're common nowadways. Not really. That was badly phrased sarcasm. But as she finally finds her one and true love he's given up his eyes, his sight (remember, lovers, he's a photographer. This is his life.) for her. She cries and never tells him that she is even there.

I shed a tear.

I think I did because I can't imagine that sort of devotion (no matter how unlikely the plot). And some part of me wants that. But some part of me thinks that sort of attachment to another person is ridiculous. I can't fathom myself giving myself in that much to another being. It comes with a certain kind of weakness that I'm not too enthusiastic to have. I'm a loner. I'm an only child with internal dialogue. I can't have someone sneak in on that. I would get jealous of them for getting all my attention.

But there is some...attraction in the idea of unconditional completely devoted love. It's something truly...foriegn to me. And things we've not experienced are often things which we would like to at least once.

Maybe the Wal-a-phed is having an affect on me. But don't think I'm ready to throw in the towel on independence. I may be dependent on someone fixing me dinner every night, but certainly not on giving everything up. I don't know what you gain. I don't know if it's worth it. It's probably not. But you wouldn't know it to be in it, would you? But from out here? It's not worth it. Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

By the way, my nose is acting up. Would someone please bring out a nose-whip? Huh? Can I get a little attention on this? I'm sick. Pity me, Coddernit!

currently: high on sudaphed--life is overrated

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